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The marriage rituals of the Western Zhou dynasty were mainly inherited from the Shang dynasty. Due to regional and institutional characteristics, new changes were introduced, but overall, the rituals became more standardized and ceremonial. According to the records in the Book of Rites and Ceremonies (Yili), marriage at that time generally followed the principles of “no marriage between people of the same surname” and “no marriage without a matchmaker,” and free unions between men and women were prohibited. The principle of “no marriage between people of the same surname” was to prevent incest, a valuable lesson learned by human society through its continuous development to ensure the health and prosperity of the family.
The principle of “no marriage without a matchmaker” meant that a marriage without a matchmaker's recommendation was impossible. This was to prevent men and women from marrying freely and to avoid the tragedy of incest. Additionally, it could, to a certain extent, ensure that the marriage partners were of a similar social status, which was very important for both parties to ensure their lives after marriage would not be full of too many variables.
A typical marriage between a man and a woman required six procedures, also known as the “Six Rites,” which were: 纳采、问名、纳吉、纳徽、请期、亲迎.
When a man's family proposed marriage, they had to send a matchmaker to communicate, which fulfilled the principle of “no marriage without a matchmaker.” The Book of Songs, in the chapter Wei Feng: Mang, also describes this: “The simple youth comes, carrying cloth to trade for silk. He does not come to trade for silk, but to propose to me. I see you across the Qi River, to the hill of Dun. It is not I who delays, but you who have no good matchmaker.” This illustrates the consequence of not having a matchmaker. The line “Alas, my maiden, do not linger with a man!” further laments the unhappiness of a life without a good matchmaker. This shows the crucial importance of a matchmaker in marriage.
The Bride
After a matchmaker was found, the woman's family would evaluate the man's family or the man himself. If the marriage was agreed upon, the man would present a wild goose as a gift, which was the rite of Nà Cǎi. In simple terms, this was a response that the marriage was possible. The author believes that the reason a wild goose was used as a token was to liken the “woman” to a wild goose, symbolizing that she could also return to her parents' home in the future. After the woman's family accepted the gifts, they would ask for the other party's surname and the woman's name, which was the rite of Wèn Míng.
 In addition, the man's family also needed to perform divination in the ancestral temple to see if the marriage was auspicious. If the divination result was favorable, they could proceed to the next step, which was Nà Huī. Qǐng Qī and Qīn Yíng were also the subsequent procedures. In simple terms, these steps were to confirm the marriage gifts and the wedding date. On the day of the wedding, the groom would personally go to the woman's family to welcome her. This entire series of procedures could generally only be completed by the aristocracy, while commoners had a much simpler process.
 These marriage rituals have been continuously passed down, and even in modern society, people still maintain many of the rites that existed during the Zhou dynasty. However, with the autonomy of marriage, unions based on “the commands of parents and the words of a matchmaker” have been phased out by society and replaced by free love. Nevertheless, four of these procedures—纳吉、纳徽、请期、亲迎—are still preserved to highlight the importance and sanctity of marriage in one's life. |
